The holiday season can be a wonderful time for connection and celebration, yet it often brings increased stress, anxiety, and overwhelm—especially when it comes to maintaining personal boundaries. From managing pressures around food and body image to balancing social commitments and family expectations, this season can push boundaries in ways that may impact our mental health. For many, setting clear, healthy boundaries is essential for preserving mental and emotional well-being.

Why Boundaries Matter for Mental Health

Boundaries are a form of self-care that helps us define what is acceptable in our interactions and environments, supporting mental health by fostering safety, respect, and autonomy. Research has shown that setting and maintaining boundaries can decrease stress, boost self-esteem, and improve interpersonal relationships (Smith, 2021). During the holidays, clear boundaries are crucial for protecting mental health and making space for authentic joy.

Here are therapist-recommended strategies for setting boundaries during the holidays to reduce stress.

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1. Food Boundaries

Food and holiday gatherings are often intertwined, which can trigger anxiety, especially for those with histories of disordered eating or body image concerns. Friends and family members may comment on what you're eating how much, or even suggest restrictive behaviors to counteract holiday indulgence.

Therapist Tips for Setting Boundaries Around Food:

Prepare Responses: Planning responses in advance can help manage food-related comments. Statements like, “I’m choosing to enjoy today without discussing food,” or “I’m focusing on the joy of sharing this meal,” can politely yet firmly redirect.

Self-Compassionate Choices: Allow yourself to enjoy holiday foods mindfully without judgment. Research suggests that labeling foods as “good” or “bad” can contribute to binge eating and increased food guilt (Tylka & Kroon Van Diest, 2013). Embrace a balanced, intuitive approach to eating.

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2. Body Image Boundaries

The holidays can also bring up discussions around weight and body image, which can feel especially intrusive. These comments can harm body acceptance, particularly for those working toward body positivity.

Therapist Tips for Protecting Body Image:

Redirect Conversations: Gently shift the focus if someone comments on your body. Try saying, “I’d rather focus on what I’ve been working on lately,” or bring up a shared interest or activity to pivot away from body talk.

Opt-Out of Diet Talk: Decline invitations to participate in conversations around diets or appearance. Studies show that discussing weight and appearance can fuel body dissatisfaction and stress (O’Dea & Caputi, 2001). Prioritizing non-appearance-based conversations can safeguard mental health.

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3. Scheduling Boundaries

Holiday demands can quickly fill up your calendar, leading to burnout. From social gatherings to family traditions, overcommitting can lead to exhaustion, making it hard to savor the season.

Therapist Tips for Maintaining Time Boundaries:

Prioritize: Decide what matters most to you this season, whether family, self-care, or rest, and center your schedule around these priorities. This approach can prevent overcommitment and reduce stress (Markway & Markway, 2013).

Set Time Limits: To manage your energy, specify how long you’ll stay at gatherings. For instance, letting friends or family know you’ll join for a specific window can help you enjoy social time without overextending.

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4. Commitment Boundaries

Holiday expectations around gift-giving, hosting, or extended family time can lead to stress, financial strain, and resentment.

Therapist Tips for Managing Expectations:

Communicate Honestly: Be transparent about your capacity. If gift exchanges are financially or emotionally stressful, propose alternatives like Secret Santa or homemade gifts. Let loved ones know if you’re scaling back on hosting this year.

Protect Your Energy: It's okay to limit time spent in gatherings that feel draining. Balancing social time with solitude or relaxed activities can prevent holiday burnout (Brown, 2018).

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Practical Strategies for Setting and Maintaining Boundaries

Practice Assertiveness: Boundaries don’t have to be confrontational. Using “I” statements, like “I feel more comfortable avoiding diet discussions,” fosters respectful communication and allows you to express needs effectively.

Consistency is key: Setting boundaries is a continual process. It may require gentle reminders for others, especially when reinforcing those boundaries around family.

Self-Check: Pay attention to your mental and emotional energy. If something feels overwhelming, trust that instinct and allow yourself to step back.

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Conclusion

The holiday season doesn’t need to overwhelm you. By intentionally setting boundaries around food, body image, scheduling, and commitments, you can safeguard your mental health and shape an authentic and fulfilling season. Remember, boundaries are a compassionate act of self-care—allowing you to show up for others while honoring your needs. These evidence-based practices help you navigate the season with resilience and joy.

References

1. Brown, B. (2018). *Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.* Random House.

2. Markway, B., & Markway, G. (2013). *The Self-Confidence Workbook: A Guide to Overcoming Self-Doubt and Improving Self-Esteem.* New Harbinger Publications.

3. O’Dea, J. A., & Caputi, P. (2001). Association between socioeconomic status, weight, age and gender, and the body image and weight control practices of 6- to 19-year-old children and adolescents. *Health Education Research*, 16(5), 521-532.

4. Smith, M. (2021). *Boundaries and Relationships: Knowing, Protecting, and Enjoying the Self.* HarperCollins.

5. Tylka, T. L., & Kroon Van Diest, A. M. (2013). The Intuitive Eating Scale–2: Item refinement and psychometric evaluation with college women and men. *Journal of Counseling Psychology*, 60(1), 137-153.

Written by Marina Cline, MA, LCMHC-S, PMH-C