My name is Eloise. I’ve been told I’m pretty resilient. You see, about a year ago I had an accident. I’m not sure exactly what happened; but I found myself in the peculiar position of interacting with humans. In general, I like to keep to myself. But on this occasion, I needed help in a way I’ve never needed it before. You see, my right front and left back flippers were amputated. The humans have speculated that perhaps I was attacked by a shark or hurt by the propeller of a boat but the cause is really irrelevant. I was fortunate enough to find humans who could help me recover and eventually send me home to the Gulf of Mexico. Initially, I was in a hurry to go home. I didn’t love the food or the medical treatments at the hospital, and I missed my freedom. 

But ultimately, with all the spare time I had, I was able to reflect on some of the things I’ve learned in my 50+ years on this earth and I thought I’d share them with you here…

1. Sometimes it’s ok to not be ok. When I came to the Gulf World Marine Institute, I was in a tough spot. I had lost two limbs. I couldn’t swim to the bottom of my habitat (much less the ocean I call home). I was angry and frustrated; ultimately I think I was in mourning. Working through those emotions was hard and I didn’t want to take time to recover. But I learned that time is important when healing from trauma. Just because I wanted to go home and return to a normal life; doesn’t mean I was ready. Thankfully, I was cared for by humans who knew that my healing journey was going to be slow and steady. There would be days I could easily get to the bottom of my habitat; and there were days I didn’t have the energy to do it. And that was ok. I learned to be patient with myself and give myself grace as I healed. 

2. Peace is yours to make. The Gulf of Mexico is peaceful. The food is plentiful and delicious, there are quiet places to hide and the water is warm and calm. It can be jarring and scary when your peace is interrupted. Especially when you can’t control it. Change is hard for everyone and it makes sense that we resist it. However, there are certain things that happen in life that are outside of our control and my time at the institute was just that…out of my control. I had a choice to make. It is in these moments that I realized I could choose to accept the current season that I was in and acknowledge that I can’t change it, or I could protest and resist the help I needed. I chose to accept where I was in my journey; reconfiguring what creates peace for me. I began to enjoy the easy meals, the back scratches and the human intervention that allowed me to recover. Acceptance of where my life was in that moment is what has allowed me to heal and ultimately return to the life I love.

3. Being vulnerable makes you brave. Vulnerability is defined as the state of being exposed to the possibility of harm (physical or emotional). Being vulnerable is scary and the fear of “what if” can be stifling. You can choose to play in the shallow waters and avoid danger; or you can be vulnerable and venture into uncharted waters and potentially experience scary (and/or wonderful) things. While my injuries were extensive and recovery was long…I wouldn’t change the experiences I’ve had in my time on this earth. Exploring new parts of the ocean, being curious and brave are what has made me a resilient creature. I know that sharks exist and at any moment can be right around the corner; but living my life in fear robs me of joyful experiences. I choose joy.

I hope this perspective provides you with some hope for recovery. Much like the veterinary staff at GWMI; the therapists at Hearth Counseling and Consuting are well trained to support you on your healing journey. You’ll be swimming again in no time.

After 7 months of treatment and specialized care, I was able to return home to the Gulf of Mexico, where I am once again exploring my world and experiencing all that life has to offer.

Written by Jennifer Thakur, MEd, LCMHC